


To Hell With It

by maddy_pie



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drabble, Hopeful Ending, Implied Relationships, Love, M/M, Memory Loss, Past Relationship(s), Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-19 18:51:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19362457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddy_pie/pseuds/maddy_pie
Summary: A short drabble about what might happen if after Crowley's fall, Aziraphale didn't remember him.





	To Hell With It

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in years and first fic on this site (I'm an old lady who only ever knew of FF.net for the longest). But damn, did Good Omens just completely consume me! So, I'm out of hiatus and onto AO3 to force my obsession onto the world.
> 
> I was super inspired by a Tumblr post I saw (if I find it, I will link it) that talked about how besides just being punished with falling, what if the other angels had their memory wiped for further punishment for the fallen. I thought that was brilliant, cause I do love a bit of angst. Which also went with the idea that they knew each other pre-fall, and that's why Crowley knew that Aziraphale was supposed to have a sword and also didn't ask his name. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm nervous as this is not my finest, but I NEEDED to get this out! But I do hope you enjoy it! Hopefully, there will be more to come! :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was pain. So much pain. Unrelenting, all-consuming. A seemingly endless inferno of torment and suffering.

On top of all this physical agony, there came the indescribable pain of loss. Of everything he's ever known. Of Her love, grace, and light. Of _him_. Now it was just complete and utter darkness. Unending dark that stretched infinitely, inside and outside of himself, that lasted every second, of every day, forever and ever until the end of time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first time the now demon sees him in the Garden, his breath can't help but get caught in his throat. 

Surprise. Joy. Hope. Things he believed he'd never feel again. _Longing._

He approaches the angel cautiously, still not truly believing, heart hammering. 

Before he can say anything, the angel turns to him having heard his approach.

"Oh", the angel says, eyeing the demon carefully, and not a little suspiciously. Eyes darting around nervously, taking a tiny step back that doesn't go unnoticed by Crowley, he continues, "who are you and what do you want?"

_What?_

"What?", he breathlessly asks.

"Look, I don't have the time for your wiles, demon. I have just done something that might not possibly have been the best idea I have ever had and--" 

All sounds seemed to cease. The waterfall, the birds, bees, insects, even the angel's voice seemed to disappear. All he can hear now is blood rushing in his ears and the quick thudding of his heart. With a frown and a shaky step backwards, Crowley is hit full force with the weight of Aziraphale's words. He can't believe it. He _won't_ believe it. 

__He doesn't remember._ _

__

The Fall was the most excruciating experience that he had ever dealt with. Or so he had thought. 

This was too much. It wasn't enough to have fallen from grace straight into the throes of fire and damnation for all eternity, but the cruelty of having been wiped from everyone's memory; from _his_ memory? The thought was unbearable.

Before he cries, screams, throws up, or something equally horrific and embarrassing, he turns and puts as much space between himself and that angel that's standing too close? not close enough? as he possibly could. 

Behind him he can hear Aziraphale say loudly to wait - wait, he's sorry, he didn't mean to - but it was just too much to deal with. So he flees.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"But think of all the possibilities, Aziraphale!"

"Hush!" Says the angel sharply. "It's blasphemy!"

"But why?!" 

"You know why, Crowley. It's against the rules", he says with regret, eyes downcast. 

"That's not an answer. 'S a cop out is what it is."

"That kind of thinking will get you into trouble." Silence. " _Please_ ," he says imploring, eyes pleading, "I don't think I can survive up here without you."

Crowley's mouth hangs slightly open in shock, a slight crease in his brow, "Az..."

Crowley wakes with a jolt and a gasp; bewildered, lost for a moment before regaining his senses. He puts his head in his hands and breathes shallow, ragged breaths, willing - threatening - tears away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time he sees him, because of course he would, he's decided. Decided that if this was to be his punishment, life on this strange planet with the one being he ever cared for or will ever care for who now has no idea, no inkling of who he is, what they shared...well, he would damn well make the best of it. 

At least he had his memories. At least he could still talk to him, look upon him. And maybe, just maybe he could- no. No use in thinking of that now. Not now with Crowley being what he is, and Aziraphale being, well, Aziraphale.

To Hell with it. To Hell with all of it. Heaven, Hell, and everything in between be damned! If he had to start with the angel - _his angel_ \- from scratch again, then that's exactly what he would do. He would wait an eternity if he had to. Because what they had was worth it. Aziraphale was worth it. 

With a renewed determination, Crowley approaches the angel's side where he stands upon the wall and murmurs, "Well that went down like a lead balloon."

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, this was going to be a lot longer, but I was too anxious to get it up here so I stopped way earlier than intended. Therefore, I might add more chapters later, like a collection of drabbles or something, but who knows.
> 
> Constructive criticism is always welcome, so please help a b*tch out if necessary :) Thank you for reading!


End file.
